March Madness

Abby, Emma, Ella

I am good at this lately. Good at not blogging for a super long time and then trying to figure out where to begin with all the crap I haven't blogged about. I used to at least blog once a week. Now I am trying to cram a whole month into one post. So my March is all jumbled up in my head. I will attempt to organize it so that this isn't just madness. I am sure it still will be, but let's give it a go. March 5 was the Thanksgiving Point Xtreme Competition for Emma's clogging team. I love watching cloggers. I'm actually kind of a brat about the whole thing. My favorite part about clogging competitions is the bad outfits. Emma's teacher actually has great taste and makes sure our dancers don't look like Beverly Hillbilly's. Other teachers try and miss the boat - big time. Hopefully the girl in the Egyptian outfit realizes it's her teachers fault, not hers. Ugh. So Emma, Ella and Abby did awesome. It's so fun to see the girls slowly break out of the shells they've been hiding in for so long. They took FIRST place in their age group. And this really isn't one of those "everyone gets a trophy" kind of competitions. Gag. The best part was at the end when the dancers all go up on stage together and do clogging style line dancing (or whatever those electric slide type moves are). They don't have to go up, but it's fun for them to all "show off" a little. And, crazy as it sounds, our girls actually participated.
From Soccer Mom to Clogging Mom (April, me, Karen)

If I am remembering right, Emma's Birthday was next. March has always been her month, but this year we have really dedicated it to her. She is my number 2 child. I am a number 2 child. Sometimes I wonder if this is why Emma and I butt heads so much... are we too much alike? It's amazing how easy it is for that "middle child" to sometimes get pushed to the back burner. I have been guilty of this with her and maybe I am trying too hard to make it up to her. I don't know. I just know that right now I have a tender spot in my heart for this little ten year old. She is awesome. She has been "blessed" with the gift of anxiety. Sucks. Truly truly sucks. But, she is amazing and has already learned to overcome this challenge. Last year at this time we were just getting on her roller coaster. She ended her third grade year with six weeks of absences and weekly visits to therapy. A year later, she is loving life and school and friends and is a top student. She is dancing and taking guitar lessons and has become so independent. It would be logical to give credit to medicine and doctors, but I actually believe there is more to it than that. I have said many prayers on her behalf and I have seen her change and learn and grow in ways that I wasn't sure were possible. I should know by now that all things are possible.

This is Emma holding baby Bryson. She is a baby lover. She always has a babe in her arms. This was at Grandma B's. We celebrated Bryn's big day and Emma's all at once. Em was funny - she was acting weird the whole day but when I talked to her about it, I realized she was uncomfortable with all the attention being on her. She makes me smile.

This is at Grandma J's. We are crazy and did both sides of the family all in one day. Again, Emma wasn't sure about the attention and it took me standing on my head to get her to smile. She was excited to get a new Madame Alexander doll from Grandma!

Emma decided to get a room makeover this year instead of having a Birthday Party. Even though I still took her Birthday shopping and she was spoiled the whole month, now that it's two weeks later she is questioning her decision. She is a stinker. I think her room turned out darling and we had fun shopping, but of course, there are things she thinks we left out. I have been calling her Dudly for the last two weeks 'cause I swear she counts the gifts to make sure there's more than there were last year.


Above is the before. It looks like a coffin, I know. It's actually her shelf on top of the bed with a sheet over it. I just almost forgot to take a before picture. The room was blue before for Josh. I'm excited about the pink she chose even though it took three layers of primer to cover up that blue.

So there is our month in a shell. There's so much that I haven't blogged about. If you ask Jer, it's because I've been too busy at all my church meetings. Lol. Hopefully I can get caught up now that General Conference and Girls Camp are pretty much planned (he keeps giving me crap about planning General Conference since our meetings go so long).

keratoconus = cornea transplant

Before:

"We see through the cornea, which is the clear, central part of the front surface of the eye. Normally, the cornea has a dome shape, like a ball. Sometimes, however, the structure of the cornea is just not strong enough to hold this round shape and the cornea bulges outward like a cone. This condition is called keratoconus." (WebMD)

The picture above is Jers' eye just a couple of hours before he went in for a cornea transplant. It's a pretty good close up of his "bulging" cornea. He found out a few years ago that he has keratoconus. In the last 3-4 years, it has become extremely frustrating for him. Because of the shape of the cornea, a contact wouldn't stay on his eye. There are lot's of studies being done including everything from a contact with a hard center and a soft outside ring to eye drops. Unfortunately, regardless of all the different things a doctor can try, eventually a cornea transplant is necessary.

Jer went to Dr. Mifflin at the Moran Eye Center (U of U). Our first visit with him was only about a month ago. He suggested Jer have the surgery in his left eye immediately and in the right eye within about a year. We had anticipated surgery in the left eye, but were hoping the right eye wasn't that advanced. So, yes, he will be going through this again. Sad.

After:

This is a picture of Jer's eye about 42 hours post cornea transplant. There was a lot we didn't fully understand before the surgery. It is outpatient surgery so we didn't figure there would be all the standard post op pain and recovery. Silly us. It's a transplant for heavens sake. Needless to say, it has been painful and frustrating for Jer (to say the least). He is trying hard to be the tough guy and returned to work today (only 7 days after the surgery).

This is him the next morning (last Thursday). It had only been about 12 hours since the surgery and we were headed back up to the hospital to have the patch removed. Once the patch is removed, the drops and meds start.

These little items are constantly with him. He actually has a little bucket now with all the goods so that he can haul it around with him (considering he pretty much only goes from upstairs to downstairs right now - it's not too bad). There are three drops that have to be done every 4 hours (waiting 5 mins. between each drop). Then Lortab and Aleve for pain and inflammation. The patch and tape that will be his sleeping buddies for 4 weeks. The little rice bag that goes from the freezer to his eye (swapping it out every couple of hours). The tear drops are needed several times a day to keep the eye from drying out (these have to be done between the other drops). The tissue is for the constant watering of the eye. The allergy meds were only for the first day - the anesthesia caused serious itching (and it didn't hurt to help with the sleeping). Then those snazzy shades he got at the hospital that will be his closest friend for the next several weeks. His phone and the remote are there, but haven't really done a lot of good. He is still sick of sitting in the dark and bored out of his mind.

So, the surgery was done on February 23. Today is March 2. One week post op. His eye still looks like I gave him my right hook a couple of times (though it is starting to yellow). The redness on the eye itself will be there for several weeks. The stitches (all 16 of them) will stay in for a long time. They will look at removing them after 90 days, but even then will only remove one at a time. It will take about 6 months for his eyes to adjust and for the doctors to know what his sight is. The donor tissue can be rejected by his body at any time so the steroid drops will probably be a never ending thing.

Whew. Crazy. Right now he probably wouldn't tell you it was worth it. I will. That next morning when we were sitting in the dark at the hospital and they were checking his sight, he was seeing 20/80. I cried. I am still in awe with modern medicine and am so thankful for every single person out there that is a donor on their drivers license. This is what it is for when they ask you if you want to be a donor. It means my Jer get's to see the world again like he did when he was in 4th grade. It means he won't be in constant pain and he will be able to see well enough to drive again. It means more than words can say. I'm also thankful for all those smarty pants doctors that can perform such a surgery (and call it fun 'cause these procedures are the best part of their jobs). Everyone at the Moran Eye Center has been amazing.

"We can dominate the game and not score like nobodies business!" -Coach Ruff

"We can dominate the game and not score like nobodies business." That was the team joke this tournament.

We went to St. George for the President's Cup at Dixie State College. Everything about the trip was so fantastic - except for the weather. It rained and was cold, but the boys were not bothered. It was just those of us sitting in the stands that were whining.

We got down there Thursday night and had our first game Friday morning. It started at 9 so the boys were there at 8:15. It was a little cold, but we didn't feel like we could complain with a field like this! Have you ever seen a field like this? It was awesome! And I didn't have to get the chairs out of the car because we sat in the stands. The team played so well! It was a physical game and by the end I was the bad mom yelling "pull his hair!" The ref decided to just take advantage of the field time and get a little workout. He ran back and forth and blew his whistle when he thought the crowd might attack him, but otherwise "let them play" without fouls. We tied this game 2-2 and had 2 yellow cards. The other team ended with 2 yellows and a red. And, this is the team that ended up winning the tournament. Dirty buggers.

The rest of Friday, we played. The boys were glued to each other. They went from the pool to the Nike Store to the pool to Cold Stone to the pool. I think we only saw Josh for the 15 minutes before each game and when it was time for bed and they'd been kicked out of the pool.


We tried hard to keep the girls busy. Jer challenged them to each find a jacket for $8 or less. They were so excited to come back and show their dad that they got a jacket and flip-flops for the $8! Love Old Navy Clearance. My parents came down and played with the girls between games. I was having a hard time keeping up with them. Grandma and Grandpa B. took them to Zion's to see the waterfalls, to the sand dunes, swimming at their hotel (indoor) and Emma went fishing with Grandpa. We all went to dinner a couple of times and froze our butts off in the rain at the games. They are good sports.

Saturday we played two games. The first one was scheduled for 1:30 but when we got to the field, the previous game was still going. I walked onto the track just in time to hear the crowd gasp and the boys come running over to the coaches screaming "his leg is poking out!" Apparently, a player had collided with the keeper and had a compound fracture. Poor boy. Our game was delayed a little and before we even started the boy was in surgery.

Our boys weren't bothered. They went out and played a GREAT game! We won 2-1. I took garbage bags for the boys to put their gear in but ended up standing down by the bench the whole game trying to keep them somewhat dry. We still had one more game to go and not a ton of time between. Most of us still ended up throwing uniforms and blankets in the dryer before the night game.

At 7:30 they played under the lights at the football stadium. So cool. And it didn't rain! It was cold, but without the rain and wind we were all happy! They played hard and won again! This time it was 1-0! So fun. Josh had some amazing saves. One of these days I will actually have my camera ready when he saves it. He also has quite the leg on him. He can send the ball to about the 45 yard line every time.


This is Emma and Megan. Megan plays soccer and was here for a tournament, but her brother was a guest player on Josh's team as well. He was on Josh's team last year and the girls missed each other. We are all hoping to pick Tyler up in the Fall. Love that family!

This last picture was about 30 seconds after the team lost in the Semifinals. Heads were hanging a little, but they did so well! We took 3rd place! If we could just get the dang ball in the net! Lol! Our boys are so skilled and so ready for the season. I can't wait to see them play this Spring!

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.

Last August, my dad retired from his job. We finally had a retirement party for him in January (not our fault - it's the government he retired from and with all the Friday's they've had off since August, they just barely got around to having the ceremony. He he).

I can't decide if I should share how my day went or how it was for everyone else. Okay, I will give you my version of the day.

It started out great. I was on time (amazing, I know) and feeling good about making it to the Federal Building downtown all on my own since Jer was in lock down at work learning how to sell phones the "Apple" way. Once we got there and found parking, I took the kids through security and my dad was there waiting for us. I stayed down by the security desk to wait for my siblings. To make what could be a very long boring story short... in the midst of tracking down my siblings and their families and trying to find parking for everyone I ended up locking my keys in my car and missing nearly the whole thing. Cari had to drive me home to get another key and back to get the car. And, that same day, I locked them in the car while at WinCo and had to have April come get me. So now when I think of this day, I will have an anxiety attack all over again.

Lynsee and I were sitting next to each other and as we listened to the Commander go through a timeline of my dad's government career, we realized there was a lot we didn't know about my dad. It was funny to me that there was so much that Lynsee didn't know just because she wasn't around for it. My dad first started with the Government as a Letter Carrier. I remember meeting him once with my mom and walking his route with him. He also served in the National Guard for over 30 years. My dad has always been that guy that was at work before the rest of us got out of bed in the morning and, often times, didn't get home until we were in bed the next night. I have always joked about him taking Friday's off or never really working a 40 hour week because it's a "government" job, but in the end, I am positive his work weeks amounted to much more than that.

I wondered for a minute how he was going to keep busy once retired. I don't think he has had time to be "bored" yet. He has been busy with grandkids, remodeling the house, taking care of his mom, making appointments for the Bishop, taking little weekend trips with my mom and getting his fill of tinkering in the garage. No time to get bored.

Brynlee couldn't stand having my dad up front and her not right there with him. She kept getting away from Lynsee and running straight to Grandpa. It was about over when she folded her arms like it was time for a closing prayer.

The Commander and my dad folded the flag. Each fold has meaning. I was glad Josh was on the front row so that he could hear all of it. He was pretty excited to hold the flag for Grandpa once it was folded.

After the ceremony, we met at The Macaroni Grill for lunch. It's kind of obnoxious to try and get all of us around one table anymore.

{Lynsee, Devin and Brynlee}

{Emma, Kailee and Alexa}

{Atley, Gauge and Cambree}

{Joel, Jamie and Bryson}

{Paul and Alisha}

{Mom and Dad}

{Cari, Emma, me, Josh and Erin}

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you...

We had family pictures taken on December 1. And, I am finally getting them posted on my blog. They turned out cute even though it was like 18 degrees that day. I don't think I will ask my little family to suffer through that again. We will stick with spring/summer pictures. But, that being said, I do like the look of the snow and I love the picture of the kids feet because it shows so much personality .

LIVE, TRAIN and PLAY the UNITED WAY!

I am too excited to not share the news about Josh! One night last week, I was on the phone with my mom and Jer came in and said he needed to talk to me right away. I could tell by his tone that something was up and it was serious. So I told my mom I'd call her back and went upstairs with Jer to "talk." He had this nervous pace and since he took me upstairs to discuss whatever was going on, my mind was going crazy. I wasn't sure what he was going to tell me and, frankly, I was a little nervous. When he finally spilled the beans, I realized it was excitement that he was trying to hold back. He had been on the phone with the head Coach of Josh's soccer team and received an invitation for Josh to go train in Manchester, England this summer! Can you believe it? Jer was freaking out inside and trying his darndest to hold back. His first suggestion was that we postpone our Disneyland trip in order to send him. I quickly talked him out of that. There is no way we can turn down an opportunity like this for Josh, but it's important that we don't disappoint the girls by adding to our countdown chain (like 365 days worth). So, whatever it takes, he will go! He has to!

I know I've blogged a lot about Josh and his passion for soccer, but I don't think words can say how much he LOVES Manchester United. That is his team. They are his boys. He can tell you the names of every player on the team, their age and their career path leading up to playing for Man U. He is all but obsessed with the entire team. That's his team. That's the jersey he wears. That's the team he is on FIFA. Those are the players he follows. And, in the World Cup he cheers for anyone that has had a career with Man U. He just named every player currently on the team for me since I am blogging about them. I know this isn't unheard of, but most boys that I know usually know all that about their football team or about the Jazz. Not Josh. He is Man U all the way. He eats, breathes, plays soccer (not really "eats" but it sounded good).

So a couple of things to think about: 1. How in the world are we going to pay for this? and 2. How in the world can I be there to see his face when he walks into Old Trafford Stadium?

I don't think there is much I can do about seeing his face. It's a 6 day camp and "visiting hours" are Wednesday for two hours. So, I will probably send him with my camera and make one of his buddies snap a picture. Or something. I will figure that out.

As far as paying for it.. we are going to make a lot of sugar cookies. I remember when I was 13, my sister went to the Soviet Union with the People to People Caravan. We did a car wash, a yard sale, a bake sale and who knows what else. So, we talked to Josh and after he calmed down a little and was breathing again, he has agreed to mow lawns (even if there is dog poop on it), bake cookies and cupcakes and whatever else it takes. That's one of the million amazing things about Josh. He will work his tail off. He is a good kid in so many ways. He overheard me telling my sister about all of this on the phone and picked up on me saying that I will probably have to forgo getting a new camera until we have his trip paid for. He came to me later and made sure I knew that I don't need to give that up. He will make sure he earns enough money. How can we not find a way for him to experience such an amazing once in a lifetime thing?

So it looks like Josh is one of four boys in Utah going. Last year, there were kids from over 75 different countries that participated.

In the meantime, he will continue doing his daily drills and living, eating, breathing soccer. Saturday we had a tournament that was squished into one day. He played in 5 (maybe 6 - it was a long day) soccer games. He is playing in a Futsal league on Thursday nights and practicing on Saturdays. We will be in St. George for the Presidents Day Cup and then the season starts.

Here's a few fun pictures from Saturday's tourny.
This is us waiting for the next game.

It's none of your beeswax!

Since my Senior year in High School, I've been scrapbooking. As each new baby came along, the actual act of scrapbooking became more and more difficult to find time for. (That's why my kids books only go to about age 2 - sad, I know). When the idea of blogging came along, I decided to continue my "scrapbooking" electronically with the intention of printing my blog each year. While I haven't yet printed any of it, I do find myself going back and reading old posts often. It's so fun to see how the kids have changed and kind of humorous to read about the things that mattered most at that time.

I am also a major blog hopper. I can spend hours going from one blog to the next. I have been able to catch up on the lives of friends that I haven't seen for a long time and also stay in touch with my family. And, I will freely admit to being addicted to "how-to" blogs. I love to find new projects and crafty things to make. I have also been inspired by the lives of others and find myself laughing and crying with people I feel like I know when really I only know through their blog. I also appreciate it each time someone approaches me about something they read on my blog. Sometimes it's easier to express myself through writing. Sometimes there might be something going on or just something on my mind that I find difficult to talk about, but I can write about it here.

In the last several months, I have found myself holding back. Have you ever written in your journal and not truly let the words flow for fear of the wrong person getting ahold of it? How many times have you gone to put an update on facebook and then had to rethink your wording or just not posted it because of the audience that might see it? I've struggled with that a lot lately, too, but recently I have come to realize my blog may have an audience that I don't know about or that I may not be comfortable with.

I really have nothing to hide and quite frankly, I've never been affected by others opinion of me. But, unfortunately, because it seems there is a select audience that is reading my blog with ulterior motives, I have decided to make my blog private. In the three years I have had a blog, I have never felt the need to go private. But, in order to protect my family and my recent sensitivity, I am going to have to to make the move.

I really really want to leave facebook and have kept my account for one big fat reason: I have a child with an account. As long as Josh has facebook, I will. But, I'm so rarely on anymore that I wouldn't miss it or the drama that it brings if I did cancel my account.

So, with that being said, I am looking forward to getting back to freedom. I am anxious to be able to say what I want without holding back. And, I would love for all of my friends and family to be a part of my honesty and continue sharing with me in the blogging world. So, if you think I might not have your e-mail address and you want to have access to my blog, please leave it for me in the comments. If I care at all about you and want you to read it, I probably already have you on my list, but don't hesitate to leave a comment, e-mail me or call me to make sure.